Better on the Other Side (OFFICIAL MICHAEL JACKSON TRIBUTE VIDEO)

..featuring The Game, Chris Brown, Diddy, Polow da Don, & Boyz II Men.

The Game - Better on the other side (Official Video)

Deeper than Love 9

We went to church together. You're beautiful. Unity.

Rest in Peace, Michael Joseph Jackson

You are still the greatest. Forget everyone who is jumping BACK on the bandwagon when they were talking about you. Now I'm dedicating this post to you with my favorites by YOU... the greatest!!

Here you are on Flip Wilson with your brothers: "Never Can Say Goodbye"

Here you are on CBS Records before we blamed it on the alcohol: "Blame it on the Boogie"

... then here you are with my favorite of all and insane with it [and people hated on you for this one]: "Dirty Diana"

...and finally unreleased from Off the Wall and SOOOOOOO CRUNK: "Sunset Driver"

Rest in Peace. You finally got peace from this crazy, bipolar world we live in. You're still the greatest... and will be superior in the Heavenly Skies. I love you man!!
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updated @ 11:22pm
ET! released photo of medics trying to revive Michael Jackson [like WHY IS THIS EVEN OUT THERE]

Rick Ross & Magazeen- Yacht Club LIVE & Official Remix Video

....on Late Show With David Letterman 5.15.09

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..featuring Triple Cs

Marriages & Father's Day, parts 1 & 2: Still Ain't Forgave Myself

I have gotten to the age where friends, strangers, foes, and ex-girlfriends are getting married. It is a beautiful thing and a beautiful thought. Hell, I times wish I was in a relationship situation to even consider it, and that time shall come. I am particularly affected, because one of my ex-girlfriends from 4 years ago has gotten married. I am very happy for her and such, but dang, I kinda felt the sting from the thought of the reality of the situation. Spree Suga Baby, my nickname for her at the time, is actually married. Spree is a woman/lady, I kinda wished in the back of my mind that I would have done better by. But mentally in 2005, I am in another space at age 20. I neglected the love I truly had for her for my own juvenilistic acts from the love of my life [at the time], so I took an "L" on Spree. Even when Spree shunned and shooed me away from most 2006 and 2007, I kept trying to keep in some type of contact with her, and finally late 2007, it worked. I even bought her something for her birthday that year although 2008, I did not even get a Happy Birthday. She was special to me, and still is.... and now the reality of the situation is... she's officially married as of Saturday June 20th.. to a dude, who is even a year or so younger than me. WOW!! But its alright... I really am happy for them. I again await my day.

Many people are getting married nowadays though. I have other friends who are jumping the broom and producing families. Some younger than me. Some older than me. Its a beautiful thang. Crazy thing about it, on Father's Day, I had about 25 people to text Happy Father's Day, even though some of them are Single Mothers. Single Mothers, including my own mother, are both to the child and YES... I wish them both Happy Mothers Day and Happy Fathers Day. Nothing wrong with it, and most of them actually appreciate it. To the big homies, who are actually sticking to it with the woman... are my heroes. I am proud of them, and I do my best to make sure they keep their thang going no matter what. We men are better than what society expect for us to be, and it is our duty to show them that we are capable of providing for the family as the man did BACK IN THE DAY. I love BACK IN THE DAY cause those were the realest times of LIFE. I strive to keep the spirit of yesterday's men in my heart and everyday living and function, cause they were strong people.. hell, they had to be.

..and today it continues. I await my special lady, so I can buy that Tiffany's Engagement Ring. Oh yeah, I'm definitely going all out for that woman... and as far as children is concerned for the future....

...I still pay homage and memory to the children I was SUPPOSED to have next to me right now. I still [kinda] ain't forgave myself. Lord, hear my cry.... Blessings & Favor to the newlyweds & families. My better days... are my latter days as they are of those in the present days.

I Do It For...

My soul is currently screaming for vengeance. I am not happy. I just want to be happy. I want to be content. I want to be successful. More successful. More prayerful. More helpful to others and society. I don't need a metal, certification, or accolades. I just need to be understood and accepted. The old folk said, "They talked about Jesus, and He didn't bother anymore, so believe YOU will not get off scotfree." It is real, but I bee damned if in my gangsta-filled heart, it doesn't hurt my feelings. Again, to have God displeased with you and trying to get your attention is not whats up in the world. Alongside this, I did not want to get rid of Weezy Ash [Ashley], but I had to do it. I was not being heard nor understood. I am man. I have to do things my way, the right way, the in order way. Because of this, she no longer wants to speak to me. I feel like it pains her to speak to me cause I disappointed her. I did not mean to do such a thing. My life is dedicated to doing for others, and not me taking away. Throughout my life, I have lived in the name of wanting to make others smile and keep the peace in my life. I want us all to peace through Christ Jesus and within ourselves, and in this feat.. I feel like a failure. I am a man. I am in the business of doing the business with others. I came to this Earth to be wealthy in spirit and finances. I have yet figured out to obtain either. Everything I have been for others, I don't do it for money. I don't do it for fame. While I performed on stage, I didn't do it for an awards. I did it for... life. I did it for... the advancement and eradication of one's spirit. My heart screams for dedication and acceptance. Since I always decide to go against the norm, is that a reason to hate on me? Is that a reason for me to live everyday on the verge of negative balance in my account when my neighbor have hundreds and maybe a couple thousand? I don't do it for assistance financially. I am a man. I do what I do to maintain or attempt to maintain my own lane. I look at the night time as the right time for smiling and loving life. I look at the night time as the right time for breaking bread... even at home alone, and smiling and knowing you do what you do for... life. I hate turning my back on anyone, because we all need help. I need help. My life screams for escape from this job, from meager pay, from meager living arrangements. God did not beam me down here for meager living.. I found out possibly that I have still been robbing God. 80% percent of what I do, I feel like I do for.. Him. I wish people wonderful days, I share His word, I try to share all that have and am for... Him! Somehow inside... I feel like it is not enough or I would not be in the predicament that I am currently in.

This is not sound sad. This is to say what I do for myself, for others... I do it for just... life. I just want to be happy. I just want to be content. I just want to be understood and accepted. I just want a girlfriend. I just want... life. I do it for... life. My body, mind, and soul screams for freedom... non-violently. I am displeased, and until we all can be somewhere in a space of freedom... I will continue to do it for... life. God assist me. God help me. God hear me. Discover me. I miss performing on stage and in front of the camera. I do it from the heart. I am who I am and have been from the heart. Not to be misinterpreted cause I have missteps thus have produced miscommunication and eradication, but I do it for... life. Yeah I dress how I dress as a man, maybe a little vintage... I talk how I talk.. and I do what I do... but who I am... and how I do it.. I do it for... life. I do it for the living. I do it for the opening of heaven somehow when my time comes.

..but I ain't perfect which bothers me that I was not born.. perfect.

PeacePeacePeacePeace... PeacePeacePeacePeace... PeacePeacePeacePeace

So you got beef with me.. so you a follower, too?? Well thats fine with me, but I love life being unorthodox in my eyes.. I never wanted any problems, I just wanna have a lil peace and success in the world. Everytime I turn around, you got something smart to say. Everytime I turn around, here yo fat ass come being loud and shit, and its a shame witcha big ass gums and teeth. And you wanna be funny? So I started ignoring you and now you wanna flex, too bad you wont say any of this loud, cause if you did I would pull up your skirt witcha ugly ass Pink Ballerina dress in the summertime at Lucky. Yeah that was wack, but trick I just really don't like you and the one who wanna titty fuck you... pitiful I can be this angry this time of night!!

Yeah that was me with the velvet on and a hat hat hat hat... hat hat hat hat... hat hat hat hat.. I really don't like you much so deal with that that that that .... that that that that... that that that.. You loud, ugly, and people only wanna titty fuck you you you you.. you you you you ... you you you you... Yes its true true true true... true true true true... true true true true

Internally I am still displeased with where I am at in this life. I soo gotta grind a little bit harder. I gotta get my money and away from this place. I just wanna be by my lonesome in my own space. Until I receive this things, salary job, Masters degree, and wonderful place tucked in Sandy Springs, I will stay unhappy. A brother just wanna have a little peace. A brother just want equality. A brother just want to be responsible for what he does and no one speaking against. I am already uncomfortable sleeping since my fan spins slow. I like to be hot, but I don't wanna sweat. This is soo dumb dumb dumb dumb..

I no longer wanna cheat God as my blessings fail fail fail fail... fail fail fail fail... fail fail fail fail... The more man try to cheat God you will stay in mental, spiritual, and emotional jail jail jail jail... jail jail jail jail... jail jail jail jail... I no longer wanna live under these walls walls walls walls.. walls walls walls walls walls.. walls walls walls walls... I will allow myself to become a lost cause cause cause cause... cause cause cause cause... Run with me or Run from me me me me... me me me me... me me me me...


Last time I checked this was not a recreation center. We supposed to men of...... and we living foul like this. It does not give me pleasure to work where I work. It does not give me pleasure to always have to entertain people. It does not give me pleasure to even stay single. I am just getting to the point where I feel like people are becoming more and more outta control with themselves to please others. I am about to just get my own lane and do my own thang. Thats easier. No I dont want to go to the club there. I dont wanna follow you. You are not that popular to me. You a man. I'm a man. Whatever pleases me and God.. I wanna do. There will be conflicts with this, but I cannot let slow people mess up my night if I wanna step out. I don't wanna be a monkey wrench, but I ain't wit it!! Simple and plain. Where are the open minded people?? What happened to them?? I don't mind scoring with a jumpoff, but that one... I ain't wit it. I'm allowed to have my options... all in all, I just want more peacepeacepeacepeace.. peacepeacepeacepeace..... peacepeacepeacepeace... tired of the norm

I am tired of hanging all of them them them them... them them them them... them them them... like a gang of fish, together they forever swim swim swim swim... swim swim swim swim... swim swim swim swim... no individual leadership but one one one one.... one one one one... one one one one... One person doesn't ruin my fun fun fun fun... fun fun fun fun... fun fun fun fun... I gotta grind harder to getaway way way way... way way way way... way way way way...

Midnight & You in 48 Seconds...

In my mind, there is no other place I would rather be.... with midnight and you. Midnight reminds me of you in the ways of .. a brand new day, another opportunity, another you, another time to see that bright gentle smile of yours. One I cannot forget and shall not forget... laying in the bed listening to some of old Barry White and Eddie Kendricks...

...you are simply beautiful, and again, as I transcend unto the night... i rather just be here in my mind.. with midnight and you... right on baby!!! right on!

President Barack Obama SWATS & KILLS Fly...

...I swear y'all I am somehow losing my inspiration to write. I have about 7 drafts pending to finish and release, but mentally I am unable to focus... in the meantime, Barack Obama swats and kills a fly on CNBC.... impressive!!

I'm On my Way Back: Dwight Howard Commericals & Outtakes

Outtakes:

The Life & Times of Marvin Gaye [all 6 parts]

My idol. My everyday inspiration. [9 minutes long per part]