After all the pain inside me, I listen to this new song by Busta Rhymes & Linkin Park entitled, "We Made It" off his new album tentatively titled "Blessed" and the new song by T.I entitled "No Matter What" off his highly anticipated album "Paper Trail." I recieved a breath of fresh air from these songs. Because after all a man like me has been through in recent months financially, mentally, and definitely emotionally.. shit, I made it. And I feel fuckin' good. Dig what I am saying? Losing all my money in the course of a weekend after my birthday and I am still living and breathing. I have not missed a fuckin meal. Through all these things, I am praising GOD. I realized that I am even more stronger now and somewhat even more relentless about life. It took this past Sunday morning (April 27th) to realize that I am currently on the road of recovery and substantial changes for better in my life.
Together We Made It!!
I am prepared for what's to come. I said I would change my phone number, but I really can't cause jobs and agents have my number, so today is not a good time BUT I will erase phone numbers and people outta my life. I don't need 'em. Once again, we made it.. even with our backs against the wall. Hell, those who are graduating in May when they laughed at me being scared to graduate last May 2007, we made it. 2007-2008 has been a serious time of growth for me and I believe it has been for my people, too. Couples who broke up in September 2007 are currently working it out for the future and although, they caught flack from peers still for these decisions, I applaud them. Overcome your fears and juvenilistic situations and grow as one: spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. So you can stand up and say:
Together We Made It, even with Our backs up against the Wall. Together We Made It!!
I love the sight of true love and support and success. It's okay to make mistakes, because mistakes make the best education. Of course, some people don't have a fuckin' clue and continuously do things, which contributes to the diminishing of their self-worth. A wise woman told me last night, "She can't, don't, and doesn't respect you, because she display constantly that she doesn't respect HERSELF." And as painful of a statement that is, its true. But as these days press on in the name of beautiful living, I can say now that I made it. I don't need 'em. And my people are showing that life is a beautiful when you have peace of mind and 100% health. I have many blessings on the horizon now and I am tackling them day by day. I am taking advantage of them, even though, I wish to do so with a significant other.. its not even possible right now. And that's fine.
No Matter What, I will do and feel better. It takes a sharp pain to the heart to figure lessons like this out, but its true. If you can't change a situation, then remove yourself from it and watch it destroy itself. So I can look it at the situation and say: I ain't dead, I ain't done, I ain't scared, I ain't run.. still I stand.. No Matter What, baby here I am. I ain't great, I ain't poor, they hate me more, so here I go..
That's how I am looking at these situations right now. But I do feel currently there is a special woman, who deeply care about me and the advancement of me, us, and my future; but she is not here with me and probably will not be returning. That's the difficulty of the present, but No Matter What I will be alright. Maybe its not meant for me to be with anyone right now, because I feel like the Lord is removing people outta my life so I can focus solely on Him. Once again, mainly everyone around me is moving in together, getting engaged, starting schools again or careers, and they are leaving me for the betterment of their lives and its beautiful, i tell ya. So now, I have to take heed to these things. I have to step up and restart where I left off. I took my year off and I am still here. I am still blessed and He is still showing favor upon. He is teaching me to pray more, not run to anyone but HIM, and to maintain my strong faith Him and changes to come; furthermore, to stop walking around with this chip on your shoulder about losing your child and girlfriend/fiance in the same year.. the picture is clear.. easy. Let Go and Let GOD move in your life. Leave it behind you. I was watching Forrest Gump on Sunday evening and realized why he ran for 3 years, 2 months, 16 hours nonstop: He was putting the past behind him to allow a new blessing to come, which ended up being marriage to Jenny and a son. Beautiful, so through all I see and been through...
I ain't dead, I ain't hungry.. still I stand. No Matter What, We Made It even with my back against the wall. I can't change the one[s] I truly care about, so here I go. I am "Blessed" and the retaining of historical letters in my life are only a "Paper Trail" to where I currently am now in my life. And it feels fuckin' good!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Be a Nigger Too
Okay and on this one, I am listening to Nas new song entitled "Be a Nigger Too" from the Nigger album. I think the title of the album is genius. I don't care what anyone says. I might get pretty political in this entry, but it is whats on my mind right now.
Hell I think the Sean Bell verdict is single-handedly the worst thing to happen in recent years, behind Hurricane Katrina, Wesley Snipes, Jena 6, and others. Even if you wanna go back to Rodney King, Tupac & Biggie. It continues to show us that We are Still Niggers. You mind as well face the shit. Now, of course, stay fighting the struggle in the advancement of the unification of this nation. Yes, thats an everyday practice. We have to keep fighting for our place in this nation in the business of equality, but we do need to stay fighting for our spirits and mind. But another thing is we kinda need to get some new leaders. I am tired of the same black people standing up. I call them Niggers, too. Yes, I do. I feel like there is not even consistency in the advancement of our people. Money hungry, Spot light seeking niggers. That's Al Sharpton & Jesse Jackson. Who the hell benefits from the Rainbow Coalition? His damn family. I would like to see new leaders stand up in our communities, schools, and nation. Will that happen? More than likely not.
What happened to all benefits for Hurricane Katrina? September 11th? There are still people struggling from that shit. I would like to see benefits for Sean Bell's family. This dude was not fuckin' with anyone and yet, they throw 50 rounds his way... and get off. WHAT KIND OF MESS IS THAT?? That's automatic electric chair. Fry them Wigger Niggers. Straight up and down. Rodney King fought for his, and they had the shit ON TAPE. WHAT KIND OF MESS IS THAT?? Why did he have to fight for that? Once again, it remind us that We are Still Niggers, too. And I always say that if Michael Jackson fuck up again, they will show him that He's a Nigger Too. O.J Simpson tried to make "hypothetical" money, and what happened? The Goldmans showed him that He's Still a Murdering Nigger, who got off too. This nation is so jacked up. I still don't understand why they even shot up that man's car after a bachelor's party. I just don't see the logic in it. Regardless of who explain it to me, I still don't see the logic in it. It don't make sense in any way.
Where is Oprah after this verdict? She wanna kick ass over rap music. But where that nigger now? I don't see her kickin ass over this verdict. And look at America, now talkin shit over Obama. They were loving him hard in January and Febraury, and now that fatigue is showing on both him and Hilary, they wanna say he is no longer a strong candidate. I deeply believe ANYONE would lose their mojo after campaigning a whole year without ANY rest. You are slightly bound to make some disturbing comments, but I don't think these comments in anyway conflict with what he stand for as far as the advancement and incorporating of this nation into the next decade. I was reading today that Republicans would like to go against Obama in November, because they think it would be a victory for them. So a Nigger can't win the Presidency? But y'all will accept a drunk, uneducated President? Or rather a 7,000 year old one with no morals about himself? Once again, America will constant show us that We are Niggers until we, as a black people, show some damn consistency in the advancement of our nation and race as a whole. We are focused on smoking blunts, fuckin' the shit outta bitches, robbing and killing over a gold necklace, rapping for ringtones, wearing clothing off our asses, and other silly shit instead of trying to make a difference.
I will go back to Public Enemy and remind people that right now "911 is a joke" and as the World Famous [and my favorite rap group] N.W.A, Niggers with Attitude, said FUCK THE POLICE. What's funny is that on Law & Order: SVU, Ice T had a fie ass, controversial song called "Cop Killer" in the early 90s. All these things are true to this present day. I want us to be consistent. Don't allow this Sean Bell case to go under water. We need to stand up and fight. I don't think burning and looting will do it no more than I think a ONE DAY, ONE TIME march will do the fixing, but the consistency in fighting for equality. We want change, but we dont' stand for change no more than 2 weeks, then its water under the bridge. I guess we are okay with Being a Niggers. Hell 2 Live Crew told you.. we are "Made/Born in the U.S.A."... we must be happy with it, cause unfortunately, I don't see no change coming outta this. I can spear head change, but who will stay consistent with me... not many. Plus, its plain to see.. they can Shoot a Nigger with no punishment. Damn shame. I am tired of them killing us off for FREE. Let's just stick together and fight. Don't let them keep getting away with this. Don't let them keep putting us in jail, because as soon as they do that.. they still call us Statistical Niggers.
Unless you are Wesley Snipes, stupid ass. Stop blaming being black as an excuse for them picking on you. Nigger, everyone pays taxes. So you not exempt, special, or better than anyone else. They damn sure showed Michael Vick that he's still a Nigger, too, even after the Falcons quietly traded Patrick Kerney to Seattle Seahawks after an underage girl was raped inside his home during a party. They don't tell us this. They hide it, because we are still some Niggers, too!
[please note: i am not a racist at all. i am only stating my opinions on our nation in wake of the Sean Bell verdict and the unfairness of the situations around us.]
Hell I think the Sean Bell verdict is single-handedly the worst thing to happen in recent years, behind Hurricane Katrina, Wesley Snipes, Jena 6, and others. Even if you wanna go back to Rodney King, Tupac & Biggie. It continues to show us that We are Still Niggers. You mind as well face the shit. Now, of course, stay fighting the struggle in the advancement of the unification of this nation. Yes, thats an everyday practice. We have to keep fighting for our place in this nation in the business of equality, but we do need to stay fighting for our spirits and mind. But another thing is we kinda need to get some new leaders. I am tired of the same black people standing up. I call them Niggers, too. Yes, I do. I feel like there is not even consistency in the advancement of our people. Money hungry, Spot light seeking niggers. That's Al Sharpton & Jesse Jackson. Who the hell benefits from the Rainbow Coalition? His damn family. I would like to see new leaders stand up in our communities, schools, and nation. Will that happen? More than likely not.
What happened to all benefits for Hurricane Katrina? September 11th? There are still people struggling from that shit. I would like to see benefits for Sean Bell's family. This dude was not fuckin' with anyone and yet, they throw 50 rounds his way... and get off. WHAT KIND OF MESS IS THAT?? That's automatic electric chair. Fry them Wigger Niggers. Straight up and down. Rodney King fought for his, and they had the shit ON TAPE. WHAT KIND OF MESS IS THAT?? Why did he have to fight for that? Once again, it remind us that We are Still Niggers, too. And I always say that if Michael Jackson fuck up again, they will show him that He's a Nigger Too. O.J Simpson tried to make "hypothetical" money, and what happened? The Goldmans showed him that He's Still a Murdering Nigger, who got off too. This nation is so jacked up. I still don't understand why they even shot up that man's car after a bachelor's party. I just don't see the logic in it. Regardless of who explain it to me, I still don't see the logic in it. It don't make sense in any way.
Where is Oprah after this verdict? She wanna kick ass over rap music. But where that nigger now? I don't see her kickin ass over this verdict. And look at America, now talkin shit over Obama. They were loving him hard in January and Febraury, and now that fatigue is showing on both him and Hilary, they wanna say he is no longer a strong candidate. I deeply believe ANYONE would lose their mojo after campaigning a whole year without ANY rest. You are slightly bound to make some disturbing comments, but I don't think these comments in anyway conflict with what he stand for as far as the advancement and incorporating of this nation into the next decade. I was reading today that Republicans would like to go against Obama in November, because they think it would be a victory for them. So a Nigger can't win the Presidency? But y'all will accept a drunk, uneducated President? Or rather a 7,000 year old one with no morals about himself? Once again, America will constant show us that We are Niggers until we, as a black people, show some damn consistency in the advancement of our nation and race as a whole. We are focused on smoking blunts, fuckin' the shit outta bitches, robbing and killing over a gold necklace, rapping for ringtones, wearing clothing off our asses, and other silly shit instead of trying to make a difference.
I will go back to Public Enemy and remind people that right now "911 is a joke" and as the World Famous [and my favorite rap group] N.W.A, Niggers with Attitude, said FUCK THE POLICE. What's funny is that on Law & Order: SVU, Ice T had a fie ass, controversial song called "Cop Killer" in the early 90s. All these things are true to this present day. I want us to be consistent. Don't allow this Sean Bell case to go under water. We need to stand up and fight. I don't think burning and looting will do it no more than I think a ONE DAY, ONE TIME march will do the fixing, but the consistency in fighting for equality. We want change, but we dont' stand for change no more than 2 weeks, then its water under the bridge. I guess we are okay with Being a Niggers. Hell 2 Live Crew told you.. we are "Made/Born in the U.S.A."... we must be happy with it, cause unfortunately, I don't see no change coming outta this. I can spear head change, but who will stay consistent with me... not many. Plus, its plain to see.. they can Shoot a Nigger with no punishment. Damn shame. I am tired of them killing us off for FREE. Let's just stick together and fight. Don't let them keep getting away with this. Don't let them keep putting us in jail, because as soon as they do that.. they still call us Statistical Niggers.
Unless you are Wesley Snipes, stupid ass. Stop blaming being black as an excuse for them picking on you. Nigger, everyone pays taxes. So you not exempt, special, or better than anyone else. They damn sure showed Michael Vick that he's still a Nigger, too, even after the Falcons quietly traded Patrick Kerney to Seattle Seahawks after an underage girl was raped inside his home during a party. They don't tell us this. They hide it, because we are still some Niggers, too!
[please note: i am not a racist at all. i am only stating my opinions on our nation in wake of the Sean Bell verdict and the unfairness of the situations around us.]
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